Bad Trip
by Lucillia
Summary: Team Minato find themselves thrown forward in time...into a Kakashi/Naruto universe. They are naturally traumatized.
1. Arrival

Minato yelled in manly surprise, Kakashi stoically curled up into a ball, and Obito and Rin screamed when the swirling vortex appeared out of nowhere and sucked them in. When the insane ride which included flashing psychedelic colors and clocks of many makes and models which had hands that were moving so fast that they were a blur and digits scrolling by too quickly to be read swirling about them was over, they found themselves back in Konoha. More specifically, they were back in Konoha and located in various spots scattered around the Hokage's office.

"That was awesome, let's do that again!" Obito enthusiastically yelled from where he was sprawled on the carpet. Minato, Rin, and Kakashi - who had rolled into a wall after the vortex spat him out - weren't inclined to agree with him.

"And just what are you doing in my office?" a woman's voice called from overhead as an ominous shadow fell over the quartet.

Minato found himself looking at Senju Tsunade's sizable...assets when he looked up to see the source of the voice and the shadow.

Since when had the Hokage's office belonged to Tsunade?

After a very thorough examination that proved that they were exactly who they said they were - apparently time and inter-dimensional travel was more common than they tried to let on around here - they were given the addresses of Kakashi and someone named Naruto - who would apparently be happy to meet them - and turned loose in the village.

"Well, now I know why I wasn't given my own address." Minato said as he and his students stared up at the Hokage Monument.

"Hey! How about we go check out Kakashi's place." Obito suggested after they had been staring at the monument for a while. Kakashi, Minato, and Rin all agreed that this would be a good idea as they too wanted to see what a grown-up Kakashi was like. Obito was silently praying that he'd had a rectal stickectomy, but seriously doubted it.

&!&!&

Kakashi kissed Naruto once more before he unfastened the young man's pants. The anticipation grew nearly unbearable as the orange material slid down the blond's thighs. The pants were below his lover's knees when he was interrupted by...a slightly muffled scream. He whirled around to find the source of the scream and found himself looking at...Team Minato?

His younger self was staring at him in absolute shock and horror both of his eyes - strange, he'd almost forgotten what having two matching eyes was like - were almost impossibly wide. Obito was staring and pointing at him, his jaw was dropped and his mouth was wide open. Rin was rapidly turning an unhealthy looking shade of red, and his former Sensei was giving him a strange look.

"Kakashi-sensei wha...?" Naruto asked as he looked over at the group in confusion.

"S-Sensei?" Obito squeaked looking even more shocked, if that was even possible.

Minato-sensei's look turned from slightly squicked to downright disapproving.

As soon as he found out who had cast this extremely realistic looking Genjutsu, he was going to murder them. Using his teammates' memory to...whatever the hell they had planned - probably something that had to do with the morality of his relationship with Naruto or lack thereof - had more than crossed the line. As he tried and failed to dispel the Genjutsu a second time, there was a knock at the door. He got up and opened the door to find Sakura standing on his welcome mat.

"Kakashi-sensei, Tsunade-sama sent me to tell you that your former team traveled to the future, and that they might be dropping by soon since she gave them your address." Sakura said, turning pink as she took in the fact that he was only half dressed.

He moved aside so she could see the group that were standing in the middle of his tiny apartment. The girl's eyes widened as she took them in.

"Y-Yondaime-sama, I'm Haruno Sakura and...Naruto! What are you doing sitting there in front of the Yondaime in your underwear? Get dressed!" Sakura said going from shocked to obsequious to irritated in a second flat.

Naruto raced to comply with Sakura's order. Once he was fully dressed, he stood there staring at Minato-Sensei with an awed and amazed look on his face.

"Naruto, huh." Minato-sensei said after giving Naruto an appraising glance, and finding him slightly lacking.

"Yep. My name's Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going to be Hokage someday!" Naruto exclaimed cheerfully.

"Uzumaki? Isn't that...?" Obito asked before his eyes once more widened in shock and horrified realization. He hadn't seen Obito like this since Minato-sensei had given them all The Talk.

"Oh. My. God." Rin said looking shocked and slightly sick.

His younger self seemed to be hyperventilating and looking for some place to hide.

Realization eventually dawned on Minato-sensei. He went from looking slightly bewildered to looking slightly poleaxed for a moment before he started looking pissed, very, very pissed.

The wave of killing intent that Minato-sensei gave off hit him an instant later nearly knocked him over. He had known that had sensei still been alive, he wouldn't have exactly given them his blessing but, he hadn't known that his former sensei's reaction would be this bad. Sensei didn't even know Naruto beyond the fact that he was most likely his offspring, and he was alread beyond pissed and in the territory of wanting to rend him limb from limb. He wasn't just screwed, he was double screwed. Hell, screwed didn't even begin to cover what he was right now. Running would probably be a very good idea.

He shot out the window, barely noting that it was open, and probably how his former teammates had gotten in without him noticing while he was ahem, otherwise occupied. Obito had always been very good with traps. Minato wasn't even half second behind him, and he was no match for his former sensei in the speed department even without the Hiraishin. His only hope for survival seemed to be the fact that Konoha had a slightly different layout since the Kyuubi attack, and the Sand and Sound invasion and there was a small chance that he could lose his former sensei in an alley that hadn't existed in his time, but that was a very slim chance at best...

&!&!&

"Um...What just happened?" Sakura asked when she picked herself up off the floor. That seemed to be the most extreme reaction she had seen anyone have upon hearing Naruto's name, though she had absolutely no idea why the person who had had said reaction had turned around and attacked Kakashi-sensei instead of Naruto.

"A-Are you and Kakashi really sleeping together?" Uchiha Obito - Kakashi's former (deceased) teammate - asked her blond teammate.

Naruto blushed and nodded. The girl - Rin - turned to the younger version of Kakashi and gave him a look of utter disgust. The boy didn't notice it however, as he was too busy staring at Kakashi-sensei's sizable porn collection in absolute horror.

Naruto and Kakashi had started their relationship shortly after Naruto had returned from his three-year training trip with Jiraiya. Reactions to the relationship had been somewhat mixed. She had pretty much taken the relationship in stride since it had made both of her teammates very happy, and she didn't have any particular feelings about homosexual relationships either way. The fact that Naruto had once been, and could technically still be considered Kakashi-sensei's student was slightly disturbing, but that was about it as far as she was concerned.

Most of the people who had a problem with Naruto and Kakashi-sensei's relationship either disapproved of homosexuality in general, or were somewhat squicked over the fact that Kakashi-sensei had been and sort of still was Naruto's teacher since he was helping Naruto with his Elemental Affinity. Those that weren't upset about the relationship for those two reasons generally were upset that Kakashi and/or Naruto hadn't ended up with them.

The villagers tended to whisper about Naruto and Kakashi, but nobody had dared to call Naruto a fag to his face after what happened to the one person stupid enough to do so while Kakashi-sensei was in earshot. Jiraiya glared at Kakashi-sensei every time they encountered each-other and Tsunade looked disapproving every time the relationship was discussed, but neither said anything about it, at least not when either she or Naruto were around.

Ino and a select few young women around the village including Ayame from Ichiraku's however seemed to find the relationship incredibly romantic and would constantly comment on what a cute couple the two made.

"That's just sick." the Uchiha said when he finally found his voice after a rather long silence during which the boy's face had shifted through several expressions.

"What's wrong with me and Kakashi-sensei being together?" Naruto yelled back slightly belligerently.

"Other than the fact that he's your sensei? You're Minato-sensei's _son._" the Uchiha said, sounding upset.

Yikes. In that light, Naruto and Kakashi's relationship had taken on a whole new and highly disturbing aspect. From that view, it looked as if Kakashi-sensei had used his position of authority to seduce the child of his former teacher who - now that she thought about it - was only little more than half his age, possibly in hopes of using him as a replacement for said teacher for whatever reason. Damn, no wonder Kakashi-sensei's old team including the younger version of Kakashi-sensei himself were upset. Hell, if she'd been one of Naruto's parents she probably would've...

Wait a minute..._**Naruto was the Yondaime's son? **_

&!&!&

Hatake Kakashi aged 13 felt like fainting, or throwing up at the very least. What the hell happened to him? How the hell had he gone from being a top-notch shinobi on the fast track to becoming a Jounin to becoming a porn addicted pedophile. Okay, since the kid in question was an older teenager, he could technically be considered an ephebophile, but that still wasn't okay, his older self had to be at least thirty for the gods' sakes. To make matters worse, his adult self was sleeping with sensei's son, and had probably been doing so since before sensei was cold in his grave since there was no way in hell sensei would allow something like that to happen while he was alive.

Though he wasn't really all that interested in such things, he'd pretty much figured that he was bisexual. He'd had warm fuzzy crush-like feelings for people of both sexes before, even though he hadn't yet acted on them. He didn't even want to know what would happen if he tried to give Gai flowers or something stupid like that. It would probably lead to here, and the sight that had scarred him for life now that he thought about it.

Up until today, he hadn't screamed since that incident with that swarm of bees and the Katon jutsu that didn't help the way Obito intended, and the reason he'd screamed then was because he'd been in an incredible amount of pain due to the fact that he was on fire. It had been bad enough when he thought that the boy called Naruto was just some orange wearing weirdo who looked a great deal like sensei - which spoke a great deal about issues he didn't even want to consider - but, to discover that he's the child sensei and Kushina-san were just one accident away from having...

A quick Katon jutsu took care of the bookcase full of porn (half of the "erotic" novels that comprised a significant portion of the collection which also contained a number of magazines and highly inappropriate comics appeared to have been written by sensei's sensei Jiraiya). There was no way in hell he was ever going to become perverted enough to keep a bookcase that reached up to the ceiling filled with porn of all kinds from books to film, and tiny figurines in compromising positions. A bookcase full of jutsu scrolls and souvenirs from his journeys maybe, but never a bookcase full of porn.

Obito put the flaming bookcase out with a quick water jutsu. The boy had had to learn a large number of those after a number of his fire jutsus had gone wrong in just about every way possible, including destroying sensei's tent once.

"Hey! Are you trying to burn this place down?" Obito yelled.

Burning this place down wouldn't be a bad idea. A couple quick Katon jutsus, mabe one in the tiny kitchen alcove, and one on the bed where...where...

He found himself running into the tiny space that housed the small apartment's toilet.

&!&!&!&

Minato's smile turned positively feral. He'd finally caught up to the bastard he'd called student. The man had led him on a merry chase through back streets and alleys that didn't exist during his time, but he wasn't nearly fast enough. Now it was time to find out exactly what it was he was going to do to the person who dared to take advantage of his and Kushina's baby. Whatever it was going to be, it would be slow and painful...


	2. Splitting Up

Hatake Kakashi, age 30, had a strong feeling that he wouldn't live to see his 31st birthday. Anyone whom he might care to make a wager on his survival with would have said "No bet" at that point in time. At the moment, his former sensei who had gone time traveling to the future was intent on causing him pain. Enormous amounts of pain. Soon, pain wouldn't be enough to satiate his former sensei's wrath, and the man would start tearing him apart.

Minato-sensei apparently would have been the overprotective parent had he lived, despite the whole sealing the Kyuubi into his son thing. There really hadn't been another option that evening, and the shame of what he was doing to his child had probably been part of the reason he'd chosen a method that had killed him. That, and the fact that he didn't think Minato-sensei would be able to outlive Kushina who had already been dying at the time of the sealing. Had Kushina died with the Fox in her, it would have saved Konoha for a time, until the Kyuubi reformed and the guy who turned it on the village got his hands on it again.

That didn't matter now though, what mattered now was the fact that his kidneys were probably going to be turning into pulp with all of the times his sensei kept hitting him there. It was better than the ball stomping though, if only slightly.

&!&!&!&

Naruto followed the young Kakashi who had panicked to the toilet where the kid was puking his guts up. What had been so wrong about his and Kakashi-sensei's relationship that Kakashi-sensei's little self had reacted that way? Sakura who had been glad that he had stopped chasing her when he'd realized that he was in love with his Kakashi-sensei had given him a rather strange look when he went in after the vomiting mini Kakashi-sensei, a look that seemed to say that she understood why the mini Kakashi-sensei was vomiting and she almost agreed.

"What's wrong?" he asked the boy who was about three years younger than him.

The mini Kakashi-sensei just gave him a look of absolute horror in response, skirted around him, raced out of the apartment's small restroom, and out of the apartment altogether.

"What did I do?" he asked nobody in particular.

"It's not what you did." the girl who he was reasonably certain was named Rin said. "It's what your sensei did."

What had his sensei done that was so wrong that his younger self was too scared to even look at him? How was the fact that Kakashi-sensei loved him wrong? Love was the most precious thing in the universe that should be treasured and guarded, not feared.

Did he think that he'd forced Kakashi-sensei to love him like some of the villagers did? Is that why he was afraid of what Kakashi-sensei had done? Or, was he afraid that his teacher would punish him like he looked like he was going to do to Kakashi-sensei?

People tended to get angry when teachers got together with their students, and he'd heard that fathers sometimes got angry with the people who got into relationships with their kids.

Wait a minute...**The Yondaime Hokage was his father? !**

&!&!&!&!&

After Naruto had collapsed when the fact that the Yondaime was his father hit him, Obito and Rin decided to go out looking for Kakashi the younger, leaving Sakura to look after her teammate who was still floored by the revelation several minutes later. They had wandered the village for quite a while without any luck before they decided to stop and ask an off-duty shinobi if they'd seen their teammate.

"Kakashi? I think he usually hangs around the memorial stone." the ninja who pretty much only knew Hatake Kakashi by reputation and didn't yet know that there were two Kakashis in Konoha replied.

Obito and Rin went to where the memorial stone stood. Neither Kakashi was there. Out of morbid curiosity, Obito decided to have a look at the stone to see who all had been added to it since their time.

"Hey! We're on here. I seem to have passed on before you." Obito said as he examined the stone, wincing each time he came across a familiar name. "So's sensei and Kushina-san. Why's sensei listed before the Sandaime though?"

&!&!&!&!&

Hatake Kakashi, aged thirteen, was wandering through a number of unfamiliar streets in a village that he should have known like the back of his hand. As he wandered, he wondered about the cause behind the fact that his surroundings were unfamiliar.

How much of Konoha had to have been destroyed for these streets to change so much, especially considering the fact that what had once been the historical district was filled with buildings that looked much newer? How had that much of Konoha been destroyed in the first place? Had Iwa invaded like they had been looking to do for the last year or so? Had it been a more recent war? Had his sensei who was going to become Yondaime died in the destruction?

After losing himself in his musings and his wanderings for a while, he found himself standing outside of a completely unfamiliar district that was closed off from the rest of the village. There were faded red and white uchiwa fans decorating the walls of the district and on the massive closed gates that were padlocked with a rusted chain. There was absolutely no sound coming from behind the wall.

Curious, he tried to jump over the wall, and ended up being smacked back by an invisible barrier. In the time he was in the air however, he had gotten a brief glimpse of an abandoned district filled with crumbling buildings that had been decorated with faded red and white uchiwa fans. It was clear that the place had been lived in, but that had been a long time ago.

It had been more morbid curiosity than anything that had driven him to where he knew the station for the Konoha Military Police Force was located. The station was gone, and someone had used the space it had occupied since the Nidaime's reign to put up a new supermarket. Using Henge, he disguised himself as one of the travelers he'd seen in his wanderings through the village, stepped into the market, and started asking questions about what had happened to the police station that used to be there. The answers he had gotten back had stunned him.

The Uchiha had all been killed by the Clan Head's toddler son whom Obito constantly wasted time playing with while they were in the village.

Obito was not going to like this...


	3. Revenge!

Eventually, after a great deal of wandering, the team minus Minato who had been pulled off of a nearly-dead older Kakashi by a team of ANBU and chucked into a holding cell at the local jail to cool off ended up meeting together at the red bridge near Training Ground 7 which was their usual meeting place before training or missions. When Kakashi, who was wondering how or if he should tell Obito about his clan since as far as they were concerned it hadn't happened yet, arrived, it was to see Obito and Rin looking somewhat despondent.

"Who died?" he asked.

"Me, Obito, Sensei, Kushina-nee, and Hokage-sama." Rin said sadly, on the verge of tears as she imagined whatever horrible fates had befallen them.

"That's not all who died." Kakashi said, deciding that it would probably be best to just bite the bullet and get it over with since Rin and Obito had seen the worst about their future already. "The Uchiha clan's been killed off as well."

"Someone killed my entire clan?! Awes-...I mean that's terrible." Obito said, not looking anywhere near as horrified as Kakashi had expected him to.

Kakashi shuddered at the look in his teammate's oddly dry eyes which had been full of tears when a poorly aimed kunai had accidentally knocked a small bird out of the sky last week. This was just one of the many things about his teammate that he would have to repress, such as the time...Nope, that most definitely didn't happen. Obito was a lame kid who was late all the time because he was tripping over cats and helping old ladies with their groceries. There was no way in hell that the Uchiha boy was an evil genius, and that treehouse of his most definitely wasn't a lab.

"What'd I miss?" Minato-sensei, who had flashed to the seal that was still carved into the bridge's railing, asked not even caring that he'd just broken half a dozen laws when he'd broken out of jail, including the village's shinobi speed-limit which had to be restructured more than a decade before thanks to the likes of him, The Hokage's Guards, and Shunshin no Shisui.

"Obito and Rin found out that they were dead, and I found out that the Uchiha clan has been killed off." Kakashi replied, giving a concise report that didn't include the little freak-out he'd had back at his older counterpart's apartment which had included a bit of arson or the time he and the rest of the team had spent purposelessly wandering around the village.

"Any idea when that happened?" Minato-sensei asked.

"Not really, people just assumed I knew when it happened when I went to the grocery store and discreetly asked when they were built and where the hell the old Police Station that used to be there was. It was the Clan Head's son Itachi who was responsible for the massacre of the Uchiha, so it couldn't have been more than a few years ago." he replied.

"Damn. Last week, I bet Fugaku 500 ryo that someone was going to get sick and tired of the Uchiha and kill the lot of them within the decade." Minato-sensei said.

&!&!&!&!&

Naruto finally got off the floor and brushed off Sakura's attempts at comforting him when he'd received a message from Tsunade telling him that his Kakashi-sensei was at the hospital in critical condition. If the message hadn't come when it did, he probably would have completed his withdrawal from the world and been catatonic at the moment rather than making his way to the hospital to be at the side of his most precious person. Discovering that the Yondaime was his father was one of those revelations that should only come in the middle of a battle or something, because otherwise, he'd be curled up in a corner rocking if he was given enough time to think about it before he accepted it and moved on.

When he reached the hospital, he was led up to the ICU by one of the nurses who had offered him her condolences over his Kakashi's condition. He would have believed the woman to have been sincere if she hadn't given his Kakashi-sensei a nasty glare before giving them a few minutes to be alone. His Kakashi looked absolutely horrible. There were a number of tubes and wires that ran from IV bags and machines attached to his body, and he was covered in bandages. Every area that wasn't covered in bandages was badly bruised.

When his beloved Kakashi-sensei had caught sight of him, instead of giving him that loving look he usually did since they had expressed their true feelings for each-other and gotten together, there had been fear and horror in his eye. When he reached out to stroke his beloved's bruised and bandaged cheek, instead of slightly leaning into the touch, he flinched and tried to pull away.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Kakashi whimpered, apparently seeing someone else as he looked at him. Someone else who had his blond hair and blue eyes.

Burning anger roiled in his gut, and tried to break free with each apology that his beloved had made that was directed at the time-traveling Yondaime. First, that bastard who had fathered him seals the Kyuubi in him and leaves him an orphan in a village that hates his guts for something he had no control over, then he has the gall to come to the future and judge him for who he loves, then he goes and attacks his most precious person, nearly killing him in the process.

Screw forgiving everybody, he was going to take a leaf out of that bastard Sasuke's book!

&!&!&!&!&

As Minato and his hungry team went to see if Teuchi was still as good a cook as he had been in their own time, an ominous feeling washed over them. Random villagers who felt the oppressive Killing Intent scattered in panic with a number of them screaming "Oh God IT's Loose!"

Minato and his students however just winced. The last time they'd felt a wave of KI that strong had been when Minato had accidentally forgotten Kushina's birthday.


End file.
